I CAN BE A DAD
By Ann Nyambura, published on 04 Sep 2020
“So, I am asking around why this is happening, because for one I am not a man and for sure I am not a dad. Stick around for my findings.”
That’s where I left you last time. But here I am. Hey…
As promised, I did some digging and found out why some father fail as parents. Let’s dive in
Family background/up bring-We all come from different families and our backgrounds are definitely not the same. Some men have grown up without father figures or have been raised in families where the father was abusive and unable to take care of the family. When this child grows up, they emulate their fathers or find themselves in unfamiliar situations with poor or no knowledge of what being a dad is.
Lack of mentorship-This goes hand in hand with our first point. To some extent, the boy child has over the years been overshadowed by the girl child. With all the attention on her, the boy child has been left with less or no mentorship to help them navigate the world of parenthood.
Fear of responsibility-Some of the father’s fear making mistakes in raising their children and opt not to be part of the child’s life. While some are irresponsible and simply fail to step up.
Unplanned pregnancies- I know this might strike a nerve but this is one of the reasons too. when nature decides to take its course here, it can be a catch twenty-two kind of situation to some men. Some are genuinely unprepared but choose to pick the struggle and raise their children, while some chicken out. The latter is the biggest problem.
Cultural degradation-It’s no lie that as African our cultural value of family has deteriorated over the years. Nowadays, divorce is an option and we are running with it. Don’t get me wrong. Yes, there are parents who divorce and still take care of their children, kudos to them. But there is this breed of men who neglect their children simply because they divorced their mothers. They become dead beat dads.
Forced marriages- Most people tend to worry most of the girl child whenever the topic forced marriage emerges. But do you know that men too can be victims of forced marriages? This has seen some of them develop resentment towards their partners and consequently their children.
These are just some of the answers I got on why some men fail their children. Please note it’s not a justification to any father’s failure. It’s a way for us to identify the problem and strive to find solutions as we build a better generation.
So, to all the fathers that feel like they are failing their children, say this with me, I can be a dad. Just strive and put in the effort. You can do it.
What are some of the reasons you might think of? Share with us on the comment section or write to us on our email firstname.lastname@example.org